Sweet Surrender

What would happen if we all stopped fighting with fate? Have you ever fought and fought for something, finding obstacle followed by obstacle in the constant struggle to obtain some phantom goal? Yet, when you shift your focus, gain deeper awareness, and simply take the opportunities and things that come your way, the struggle decreases, ease emerges, and you find your true path.
To tell you the truth, I never wanted to be a yoga instructor growing up. A over-weight, under-exercised kid, I usually wanted nothing to do with anything requiring physical activity. My only beloved exercise was tap class…. and that is only because I was allowed to make loud noises: literally making music with my toes. Until I was a sophomore at USC, I had no idea what yoga was. Actually, growing up, my dream was to be a musical theatre star on broadway: to play the role of Belle in Beauty and the Beast. That sort of fell through in college when my teachers decided my voice was much more classical in nature. So, opera was brought into my path. (As with yoga, the only knowledge I had of opera during childhood came from the looney toons and the SF Opera House scene in Pretty Woman.) At the time, I felt a bit like an outsider in the operatic world, knowing nothing about the stories, technique, or famous singers. That same year, I was introduced to yoga, right when I needed it most. Fast forward to this past year when, as I graduated from grad school and still found myself suffering from deep-seated vocal tension issues and emotional anxiety, yoga reappeared into my life. As I plunged head-first into this new calling, I found a small flickering light of hope at the end of the tunnel. Yet, I still focused my energy, time, and money solely on obtaining a vocal career: no matter what. Like banging my head against a wall, I applied and auditioned time and time again for companies and young artist programs, worried about how much I was spending, my odds of obtaining the job, and how I wasn’t good enough/ tall enough/ pretty enough, etc. This sincere waste of time and energy finally subsided when a dear friend and mentor gave me a wake-up call this Summer. Stop fighting life; See what happens if you just let go for a year: not giving up on your career, but just letting things come as they may. That day, I decided to take a yoga teacher training course during the next year. 2 days later, I found Frog Lotus Yoga Studio. 3 weeks later, I was on a plane bound for Massachusetts for my training. 7 weeks later, I am graduating with my certification. In full disclosure, when signing up for the program I didn’t think I’d teach right away. It was more to find myself, to make a change, to improve my practice, and to decided if I wanted to continue as a singer. The ability to teach was just a nice perk. However; 3 days from graduation, 2 potential yoga teaching jobs have already fallen into my lap. Now, I don’t have the jobs yet, but I haven’t even started looking. I guess that’s just what happens when you stop fighting and start surrendering. I wonder what other changes are in store for me as I return to my voice, my home, and my “real” life. Bring it on.

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