Living someone else’s life: a week later

A week ago today I had my yoga certification in hand, coming off the last of 3 planes after a whirl-wind adventure of returning during a hurricane. In some ways it seems like only yesterday, and yet it feels like a different world and a different life. I definitely envy my fellow teacher trainers who were starting completely new lives post-teacher-training, in new locations with no set habits, friends, goals, or memories. Reintegration into your old life is a difficult process to say the least: especially when you are currently living in the town where you grew up. There is so much history there: so many memories, so many connections to my old thought processes, habits, and perceived ideas of what is important. This week has been a continual process of seeing old habits, patterns, and thoughts arise and then letting them go. On second though, perhaps those who are getting the chance to start fresh should envy me, for I am being thrown into the deep end with all of the tools to conquer deep-set mental blocks from as far back as my birth. It has been strange how little things are now jogging my memory: a tree in my old elementary school where I used to escape into a good book, a garden where my aunt used to make snapdragon flowers sing, a high school football game reminding me of cheering in the stands dressed in school colors. Where I once used to see the negative in each of these memories, I now only see the joy. As old negative thought patterns arise, I have learned to acknowledge their presence, then let them go. This week, as my mind began racing, worrying about money and how I would pay the bills next month, I literally screamed aloud “ENOUGH!” You know what? It worked. My brain actually stopped worrying- at least for a short while. Believe me, I’m as shocked as you. Another time the panic flared up as I began to think about my singing career for the first time after a 2 month hiatus. Instead of letting it get the best of me, I decided to do a 3 minute headstand. It worked so well, that I did that throughout the day whenever I felt myself slipping from my inner-calm. It’s amazing what changing your perspective (quite literally as you are turning your point of view upside down) can do.
Likewise, my concentration and communication skills have improved exponentially after this month leading a pure yogic life. While teaching voice lessons, I find that I am now completely there with my students: focused solely on their needs and improvement. I am in the moment, and that is a beautiful place to be. Today I visited an old friend who I have known since 6th grade. As she and her family asked me about my yogic experience, I had no idea what to say. How do you put into words everything that has changed, been let go of, or grown out of the ashes of my former being? Suddenly my mouth was talking without my mind even knowing it as I explained specific fears, conflicts, and stumbling blocks which are simply not there anymore. The amazing thing was that I didn’t even realize that those things were gone. Only here, in the moment, did I make that known to myself and to my friends. Life has changed for me. It is as if I am walking in someone else’s shoes and living someone else’s life; yet, the life is my own, the past experiences are my own, the goals and dreams are my own. I am just looking at them in a completely new light. I now fully own my life, my mind, my body, my soul, and my voice. Time will only tell where this new revelation will take me; but I am now fully prepared for the journey.

Your new life starts here.

3 thoughts on “Living someone else’s life: a week later

  1. Amazing!! To turn negatives into positive and see inside yourself how to fix your problems, bad habits, nagging thoughts. You really have come full circle to face your inner demons and painful past and move on into a new you . Your future awaits and it’s gonna be so bright you might want to wear shades (from an 80’s song) . I love you and am proud to know you!!!

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